Death by Volt Kreuger
by Scott Lysander
Summary: Two years after the events of the Bouncer, the classic villains return...to participate in mundane activities. Volt sees their wrongdoings and comes to the rescue! Rated PG -13 for mild language, sexual reference, and violence. R&R PLZ LOL K THX!


Two years after the events of _the Bouncer..._

Dauragon C. Mikado sat in his first class airplane seat. He frowned at the packet of peanuts before him. "I don't want peanuts," he muttered in a clear British accent, slapping the peanuts away. Suddenly, a shadow appeared over him. He looked up. It was Volt Kreuger in flight attendant's uniform! "EAT YOUR PEANUTS" roared Volt, picking up Dauragon. Volt threw him through the wall of the airplane; Dauragon got sucked into a jet engine and died, but his body caused the plane to go into a 600 mph dive. The plane crashed and everybody died except for Volt.

Sion Barzahd glared at the acne-ridden idiot behind the greasy McDonald's counter. "No!" Sion whined. "I want a whopper! A WHOPPER!" As Sion rolled around on the floor crying, the McDonald's worker said, "We don't have Whoppers. We have Big Macs." Sion looked at Dominique. "Dominique! You want anything?" he said. Dominique glared at him for a moment. Suddenly, a voice said "TARGET ACQUIRED." Dominique's face opened and released a barrage of missles on everybody in McDonald's. She was going to destroy the rest of the city, but Volt Kreuger smashed her robotic ass right into the ground. Kou laughed.

Kou Leifoh looked at the embossed gold letters on the front of the book. "The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas," read the letters. Kou smirked and said, "Heh. Dumbass." He threw the book into the air and hook-kicked it out the window, and then pulled out 2 uzis and shot the book full of lead. The bullet-riddled book hit Volt on the head in the front yard. "WHO DID THAT" shouted Volt, picking up the grass he was standing on. Volt tore the entire lawn out and sent the grass a few miles away, where it landed near a McDonald's and crushed Sion's 986 Toyota Corolla.

PD-4 scratched his artificial beard. The next kid in line came towards him. "Hello little girl," said PD-4 in his Santa Claus voice. "What do you want for Christmas?" The girl, noticing that Santa had a red eye and weird tattooes, ran away screaming. "Nobody disrespects me!" shouted PD-4, standing up and unleashing his robotic arm. "NOBODY!" Bolts of huge electricity shot throughout the shopping mall. But before he could prepare his second attack, PD-4 heard a loud roaring. He looked up to see Volt Kreuger flying at him at 100 mph! Volt landed on PD-4 and utterly crushed him along with the huge Santa throne. When the dust cleared, Kou and Volt threw candy at old people and then trashed the bookstore and totally got away with it all.

Kaldea Orchid sat at the piano playing Rachmaninoff. Wong was playing Street Fighter with the volume turned all the way up on the floor below her. "Go, E. Honda! Go!" shouted Wong, rapidly pressing buttons. Kaldea sighed and ceased her music. "Wong," she said, "Turn the thing down. I'm practicing." Wong glared at her menacingly and said..."No! Hahahaha!" Kaldea turned into a panther and attacked Wong. But Wong did his hyper-punch attack, and Kaldea went through a 3-foot layer of concrete. Wong laughed and prepared to finish her, but suddenly the glass dome above them shattered, and Volt came crashing down! "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON" roared Volt. He was about to kick their asses when suddenly he noticed Street Fighter. "HEY SF" he shouted "I GET TO BE BLANKA" "No, I'm Blanka next!" whined Wong, trying to hide the controllers. Volt roared and ripped Wong in half. Then he grabbed Kaldea and threw the piano on her just for good measure. Volt played Street Fighter for hours before breaking the machine.

Mugetsu scrolled through the list of songs and chose Tsugaru Apple Mix. As the song started, Mugetsu said, "Apple Mix is hardcore! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" he laughed as he owned the song getting only 2 greats. "I'm next," said some guy in a Skinny Puppy shirt. "NO YOU'RE NOT" shrieked Mugetsu "THIS IS MY MACHINE!" he kicked the kid away. But when he turned back to the DDR machine, he heard a faint rumbling. Suddenly, Volt crashed out of the toy-grabbing machine! "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING" roared Volt as stuffed Care Bears rolled off of him. He grabbed Mugetsu and started swinging him around. Volt threw him into the DDR Machine, electrocuting Mugetsu instantly. "TRIPLE A BITCH" laughed Volt. He went to the ATV Offroad game and totally owned it. Kou got a perfect score in Time Crisis II...again. Sion spent the whole day trying to win a GameBoy Advance. The end.

Echidna stood in the elevator, watching the numbers slowly ascend. Dauragon version 2 stood behind her. "Your hair as absolutely fascinating," he said, running his hand over her gravity-defying hair. "Oh, that's IT!" said Echidna, grabbing Dauragon by the scruff of my neck. "I don't give a damn if guys grab my ass, but the hair is off-limits!" She threw Dauragon out the glass elevator window. Dauragon fell 20 stories and died. Echidna smirked and turned back to the doors. But her smile faded when the doors opened. There stood Volt in an Embassy Suites repairman outfit! "YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR BREAKING THAT GLASS" roared Volt. He smashed the elevator cables to pieces, and it started to fall. Unfortunately, somebody had rigged the elevator with a bomb! Kou, noticing the bomb, grabbed Sion and threw him into the swimming pool, diving in shortly thereafter. The elevator exploded, killing everyone except for Kou, Sion, and Volt.

Leann Caldwell stopped at a Chevron 11 years ago last Thursday. She was never seen again.

And so, only Kou, Sion, and Volt remained. Volt continued his murderous yet just ways of utterly destroying wrong-doers. Sion was killed 6th months later in an unfortunate accident involving Bruce Lee's resurrected ghost. And Kou became the voice for Spike Spiegel. The end.


End file.
